Excitement :-(

Life in our home has continued to be way more exciting than I prefer. I thought I'd remind you of how I look when I've just HAD IT!! ( Remember what color my hair was?Well at the bottom you'll find the after red hair "had it" picture!!) I've endured a day that I never dreamed I'd ever have to take part in.

It started out with Christmas program practice at church. Well since Ethan and Bia were still not the best I decided I'd keep them home. Then I ended up having to go to town for a few things and I'd no longer gotten into the mall and put the two in the cart when Bia informs me that she'd pee'd. I said, oh Bia! And then I saw her stick her hand down to her backside about the same moment I caught a whiff of something that most assuredly wasn't pee! :-( Oh MY! I groaned and went to the kids department to find new panties and some sort of bottoms for her as she'd gone the whole way through her skirt and onto the cart. YUK! I went and paid for those items and headed to the bathroom with Ethan almost gagging in the cart basket at the smell that was coming from his sister. I managed to get through the rest of my errands without event and went home. Troll and the kids got home from the library about 10 minutes later and I heard Troll say, "You get to the bathroom and take a bath RIGHT now!" Here Reagan hadn't made it to the bathroom at the church in time and had squirted unpleasantries in his britches and without telling his dad went to the library with all to have a great time. Troll said at one point and older lady had walked past them and he'd caught this whiff and thought it was her until Jetta mumbles, "Reag, get away from me...you stink!"

OH! It gets even better. Troll left about an hour after all this to go take care of someone's dog and pick up Austin's shoes at a friends house. I was doing some ironing when Reagan came hopping into the room. I asked him what he was doing. He said, I gotta go to the bathroom. I said, then go!! From his hopping I knew he'd waited to long. Course I thought it was all about the liquid state of going to the bathroom. Unfortunately...liquid was exactly what it was. Only the WRONG sort of liquid. Uggh! 15 seconds later he comes creeping back into the living room and stops. I said, what? He said, "I didn't make it." I looked down and there was this gray stream going down his leg. Yes, I'll admit it, I overreacted. I hollered, WHAT? He started crying and said, "I couldn't turn the light on." I grimaced and said, so why didn't you stay in the bathroom? No comment from Reagan. Well take your clothes off right there and go get a bath, I said. He started to take off his PJ shorts and things started to go bad from there out. The shorts came off and I realized right there...Houston...we have a problem. Oh MY GOODNESS!! Stuff I'd never seen before in my life came glopping out of the poor boy's underwear and I stood there horrified. By the time he'd stripped down to nothingness (except for the gray smears all over his backside and legs and feet) I was ready to walk out and call it a day. Let me tell you...it was awful. Remember he'd not stayed in the bathroom? As I made my way back the trail he'd left I kept groaning and moaning. I sent him to the bathroom where the girls were taking a bath. Figured since there was already water in that tub he might as well use it. I'm in the midst of cleaning, trying desperately not to vomit, when I hear screams and wails coming from the direction of the bathroom that Jetta and Bia were in. They'd caught sight of Reag coming in and attempting to jump in with them and couldn't handle it. Bia was sobbing and Jetta was yelling, "Don't you dare get in here. Hold on Bia, I'll get you out." 30 seconds later they were in the room with me wrapped in towels and looking like they'd seen a ghost. I managed to get ahold of Troll on his cell to ask him if he was going to be home soon. Then proceeded to tell him all that had transpired and how I couldn't clean up anymore of it. While telling him this the cat appears. Calmly walks over to the piles and was attempting to (gag, wretch, gag)...who knows what. That's as far as he got and as far as I got. I handed to the phone to Jetta, kicked the cat away from his apparent snack and ran into the bathroom where I attempted to get ahold of my lurching stomach while hearing Troll absolutely dying with laughter from his haven inside our truck 15 mintues from the house.

And better yet...
I cleaned up all I could then went back to my ironing. Heartless of me, I know, to leave the worst of it for Troll. Ya ever smelled liquid manure? Imagine that in your house. I couldn't do it. I hear Reag getting out of the tub and hollered for Austin and Ethan to take their baths since tomorrow is Sunday. Not very long after I said this I hear Ethan gagging and Austin saying, "Oh gross! Ethan, pull the plug out!!" Here Ethan had climbed right into that tub water that Reag had been in...not knowing what had just transpired...and was sitting in it gagging and choking and creating such a ruckus that all I could do was stand and laugh. I'm not sure who ended up pulling the plug out but I have a funny feeling that since Ethan was immobile with his gagging that poor Austin had to stick his hand in that water to pull the plug!!!

You know how I mentioned Bia puking in Troll's mouth? I forgot to tell you that the night before this our new puppy had pooped all over him in the middle of the night. It has most assuredly been one monster of a week!!
If I make it to December 25th............I'll be grateful!!!