Wanted!!

I was standing in the back of the church Sunday night getting ready to walk in to sit down. Over by the door my husband, Faye and a few other partners in crime were laughing entirely too hard. I just shook my head as I figured they had just commented about something degradingly. They all dispersed a few minutes later and I finally realized what they were laughing about. Faye had taken my two disheveled pictures off my blog and made a wanted poster to put up on the bulletin board. I "stormed" into the church "enraged" and told her I didn't think it was the least bit funny while trying not to laugh. I did get a few startled looks from members of the congregation as they turned around to see what the ruckus was all about. After the service, I must admit, it was pretty funny to see people stop at the board and try to figure out who it was. See they only know me as the prim, proper and classy woman that I am!!! (Snort.)

Kids Komments..

Bia: What'ya doing, Mommy?
Me: Gettin' dressed. What are you doing, Bia?
Bia: Pickin' my nose.......wanna taste???

Outa the mouth of our two year old!!!

Just pictures

Here are just a few pictures of the kids with the tree and some other strange folk. More to come at later date.

Excitement :-(

Life in our home has continued to be way more exciting than I prefer. I thought I'd remind you of how I look when I've just HAD IT!! ( Remember what color my hair was?Well at the bottom you'll find the after red hair "had it" picture!!) I've endured a day that I never dreamed I'd ever have to take part in.

It started out with Christmas program practice at church. Well since Ethan and Bia were still not the best I decided I'd keep them home. Then I ended up having to go to town for a few things and I'd no longer gotten into the mall and put the two in the cart when Bia informs me that she'd pee'd. I said, oh Bia! And then I saw her stick her hand down to her backside about the same moment I caught a whiff of something that most assuredly wasn't pee! :-( Oh MY! I groaned and went to the kids department to find new panties and some sort of bottoms for her as she'd gone the whole way through her skirt and onto the cart. YUK! I went and paid for those items and headed to the bathroom with Ethan almost gagging in the cart basket at the smell that was coming from his sister. I managed to get through the rest of my errands without event and went home. Troll and the kids got home from the library about 10 minutes later and I heard Troll say, "You get to the bathroom and take a bath RIGHT now!" Here Reagan hadn't made it to the bathroom at the church in time and had squirted unpleasantries in his britches and without telling his dad went to the library with all to have a great time. Troll said at one point and older lady had walked past them and he'd caught this whiff and thought it was her until Jetta mumbles, "Reag, get away from me...you stink!"

OH! It gets even better. Troll left about an hour after all this to go take care of someone's dog and pick up Austin's shoes at a friends house. I was doing some ironing when Reagan came hopping into the room. I asked him what he was doing. He said, I gotta go to the bathroom. I said, then go!! From his hopping I knew he'd waited to long. Course I thought it was all about the liquid state of going to the bathroom. Unfortunately...liquid was exactly what it was. Only the WRONG sort of liquid. Uggh! 15 seconds later he comes creeping back into the living room and stops. I said, what? He said, "I didn't make it." I looked down and there was this gray stream going down his leg. Yes, I'll admit it, I overreacted. I hollered, WHAT? He started crying and said, "I couldn't turn the light on." I grimaced and said, so why didn't you stay in the bathroom? No comment from Reagan. Well take your clothes off right there and go get a bath, I said. He started to take off his PJ shorts and things started to go bad from there out. The shorts came off and I realized right there...Houston...we have a problem. Oh MY GOODNESS!! Stuff I'd never seen before in my life came glopping out of the poor boy's underwear and I stood there horrified. By the time he'd stripped down to nothingness (except for the gray smears all over his backside and legs and feet) I was ready to walk out and call it a day. Let me tell you...it was awful. Remember he'd not stayed in the bathroom? As I made my way back the trail he'd left I kept groaning and moaning. I sent him to the bathroom where the girls were taking a bath. Figured since there was already water in that tub he might as well use it. I'm in the midst of cleaning, trying desperately not to vomit, when I hear screams and wails coming from the direction of the bathroom that Jetta and Bia were in. They'd caught sight of Reag coming in and attempting to jump in with them and couldn't handle it. Bia was sobbing and Jetta was yelling, "Don't you dare get in here. Hold on Bia, I'll get you out." 30 seconds later they were in the room with me wrapped in towels and looking like they'd seen a ghost. I managed to get ahold of Troll on his cell to ask him if he was going to be home soon. Then proceeded to tell him all that had transpired and how I couldn't clean up anymore of it. While telling him this the cat appears. Calmly walks over to the piles and was attempting to (gag, wretch, gag)...who knows what. That's as far as he got and as far as I got. I handed to the phone to Jetta, kicked the cat away from his apparent snack and ran into the bathroom where I attempted to get ahold of my lurching stomach while hearing Troll absolutely dying with laughter from his haven inside our truck 15 mintues from the house.

And better yet...
I cleaned up all I could then went back to my ironing. Heartless of me, I know, to leave the worst of it for Troll. Ya ever smelled liquid manure? Imagine that in your house. I couldn't do it. I hear Reag getting out of the tub and hollered for Austin and Ethan to take their baths since tomorrow is Sunday. Not very long after I said this I hear Ethan gagging and Austin saying, "Oh gross! Ethan, pull the plug out!!" Here Ethan had climbed right into that tub water that Reag had been in...not knowing what had just transpired...and was sitting in it gagging and choking and creating such a ruckus that all I could do was stand and laugh. I'm not sure who ended up pulling the plug out but I have a funny feeling that since Ethan was immobile with his gagging that poor Austin had to stick his hand in that water to pull the plug!!!

You know how I mentioned Bia puking in Troll's mouth? I forgot to tell you that the night before this our new puppy had pooped all over him in the middle of the night. It has most assuredly been one monster of a week!!
If I make it to December 25th............I'll be grateful!!!

Blahh!!

Ugghh! That was one night I don't care to repeat EVER again. Vomit and diarreah ran (literally) rampant in our house last night. Three kids had it and we were up constantly throughout the night. The one time Troll, me, Ethan, Bia and Hannity were in our bed and I heard Bia start to swallow really hard. I knew she was getting ready to puke so I threw her over on Troll as I figured he could get to the bathroom quicker than I since he was by the door. He jumps out of bed and picks her up. As he was making his way to the bathroom he held her up to ask her what was wrong just as she puked right in his face and mouth!!! He gagged and almost threw her out the door!!! I got to the bathroom in time to see him spitting in the sink and whipping off his clothes as fast as he could while poor Bia was puking and shaking on the floor behind him!! Lysol and clorox cleaner have become my best friends in the past 12 hours. Jet and Aust are the only ones to not have it....YET!! Tonight is our church's Christmas banquet so I guess Troll and the two oldest will be going without me. Sigh. The life of a mom....

The Funniest Thing...

Let me tell you. I don't think I've laughed as hard as I did this morning in a very long time. In fact, the last time I remember laughing this hard was when something else happened concerning the person I'm going to talk about and it's a story only certain family members were told and other than that...I'll have to take the story to my grave. However, this story was told in church this morning and I just HAD to share it with all my blogger/online friends. Of course you had to have been there for it to be as funny as it actually was but alas...of all the days for me to not have a camera....



We were on our way to church this morning, on time and feeling pretty good about ourselves. We weren't 2 miles from our house when Troll looks in his rear view mirror and says, "What was that?" I, not having the "pleasure" of a rear view mirror, said, what? He says, "I think my Bible just fell off the roof!" I looked back and sure enough there lay something fluttering in the road. We turned around as I was thinking, how hard is it to put a Bible in the vehicle? In my small mind I wasn't really impressed. Troll parks beside the road and gets out. What ensued after is images I'll never get out of my mind. You'd have to understand that this was a major road leading out of town. People were darting here and there in their vehicles and I watched in utter amazement as Troll danced and weaved through traffic to pick up Bible, sermon notes, tithing check, papers, bookmarks and all matter of flying white/yellow things. The funny thing was that, as in a wind storm, these papers were not staying in one place. A vehicle or four would go by and off would fly more stuff. Troll madly dashed around, bending over to grab things while attempting to hold his pants up which I thought sure were going to hit the dirt at any moment. Things were scattered a good 6 or so car lengths on both road and sides of the road. And broadening to say the least. We were thankful that not one of those people hit his Bible and it came back to the van with just a few wrinkled papers. :-)

The message that he preached this morning was a phenomenal message. I couldn't help but think that the devil had other plans for this message and had it flew off two car lengths before it would have landed in the water as we'd just went across a bridge. One lady at church said, "The angels must've kept a hold on it until you passed the danger!" I can only believe that. We had a few seekers at the alter as a result of Troll minding God in what he was to preach. I was proud of him.

Just one more thing...

The moves I saw my darling husband perform along the road and in the road would have put the best of actors in the famous "Nutcracker" out of a job!!!